Dec. 4th, 2009

faery_whisper: (Default)
I've had this journal for over 6 years, and I'm sad to say the majority of my entries were depressed or angry. So, I'd like to post one that's completely happy and positive.

My just...I can't describe how good it's getting. It hasn't been easy, some of it I've been fighting hard for, but it's been SO worth the fights, drama, and bullshit.

I've spoken in more detail with my supervisors, the HR director at St. Mary's and even the director of the entire department at Calvert(really really nice guy) about my desire to become full time. There's been tentative talk that St. Mary's may have a position for me to combine with my current one that will bring my hours to full time, but there's some scheduling conflicts involved in that. I'm hoping it works out though because I'd love to stay in my current position as this is the first time EVER that I have LOVED a job. I love my co-workers, my bosses, my's just so awesome and I'm so happy! I'm exhausted everyday from school, work and Denise, but I go to bed every night with a smile.

I also have an interview with the Board of Elections next week. It's the same salary scale as me, and it's still law-based(dealing with election laws), but it's more administrative than legally structured. Still, it's local, which means I can keep Denise where she is, it's full time, and it's still with the state, so I can keep all my benefits!!! I'm hoping that if it doesn't work out that the position in February does, but I will start throwing myself back into the job search after exams.

School is just...I'm so proud of myself! I took a challenging semester, 5 classes, all online, and knowing that I'd have more than my fair share of drama to boot. While I could have done better in some of my classes, I'm proud of my expected GPA of about 3.4 that I kept up in spite of it all! And in a little over a month, I'll be reaping the benefits of finally finishing a college degree. I graduate January 14th and I'm thrilled! The college was even willing to put my diploma in my maiden name as I didn't want my success associated with my failure.

And the hits just keep on coming! I spoke with my advisor at UMUC on Wednesday and today my transcripts have posted! I should start out right at the halfway mark for my bachelors and I'm already registered for 10 credits for spring semester! If I can keep up the 10 credit run for each semester, I should finish by fall of 2011 which is my first goal! And if I can obtain full time at either of the options listed above or anywhere else I might apply, I plan to work there for the 2 years as I finish school and then, depending on what I'm doing, I plan to try to either go federal or go to Annapolis in the state. Hopefully everything will work out so that I can meet my move out goal of spring 2012 as well!

My relationships have also improved. My sister and I seem to have settled most of our differences and spend a lot more time together now than we ever have in the past. I've seen a different side of my dad since Denise came into his life and I'm loving the improvements in our relationship. I've reconnected with most of my support networks, and many dear friends I had lost during my reign of the stupid. I've reconnected with the lost love, the "one that got away" so to speak, and I'm finally understanding the meaning of the phrase "happy, healthy relationship." I'm so happy for him, as he's at an interview right now and if he gets this position, it'll help move our lives forward. Then, it'll be my turn to get full time employment. ;) And most importantly, I have significantly improved my relationship with my daughter. Being in a better place mentally, emotionally, and even physically has helped me so much to be a better mother. Having the support of so many friends and family has been a blessing to my relationship with Denise. I love her so much and I know if it wasn't for her, I may never have realized my potential.

Usually around this time of year, I'm depressed, crying my eyes out, mourning my mother. My only sadness right now centers around the fact that I'm finally getting my life together, and she's not here to see it. But I know that she'll be smiling down on me when I walk across that stage in January and accept my diploma. I have so much to be thankful for that all my sadness is replaced by the knowledge that she finally can be proud of me! I'm finally getting it right!

Life is good, and I'm finally happy with it!


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